42 Premarital Counseling Questions

Before they say “I do,” couples should delve into important questions.

Questions asked during pre-marital counseling are meant to encourage open dialog, reflect shared views, and expose challenges before they are ever tested.

These are conversations that can solidify your connections and create the space for a happier, healthier marriage.

We recommend you do not rush through these questions. Take your time and have a good conversation. For this reason, we have divided them into days, separated by topics.

Premarital Counseling Questions, Day 1:

Communicating with Your Partner and Resolving Conflicts

1. Explain to me your conflict-resolution style.

2. How do you best like information delivered to you?

3. Do you like the way we resolve disputes?

4. How can we manage our conflicts with each other better?

5. What is your biggest pet peeve about human communication?

Premarital Counseling Questions, Day 2:

Finances and Spending

6. Will we “merge” our money or maintain separate accounts?

7. What are your attitudes toward debt, saving and budgeting?

8. What will we do about large purchases?

9. Will you demand transparency in spending?

10. Who do you think should handle the daily finances?

Premarital Counseling Questions, Day 3:

Family and Children

11. Do you want children? If so, how many?

12. What should our discipline plan be?

13. What parenting concerns are important to you?

14. How do you feel about adoption and fertility treatments if necessary?

15. What does extended family mean to us?

Premarital Counseling Questions, Day 4:

Intimacy and Affection

16. How significant is the role of sex in a relationship?

17. How do you want love and affection to be shown?

18. Is our sex really good, and if not, why?

19. How can we sustain emotional closeness long term?

Premarital Counseling Questions, Day 5:

Religion, belief and values

20. What religious or spiritual beliefs do you have?

21. How do you want to practice your faith as a couple?

22. How do we treat religious diversity?

23. How we will raise our children when it comes to religion?

Premarital Counseling Questions, Day 6:

Career and Ambitions

24. What is your value of career success?

25. Are you willing to relocate for work?

26. What does support of one another’s careers look like to you?

27. What if one of us wants to stay home with kids?

Premarital Counseling Questions, Day 7:

Position And Responsibilities

28. What is your place in the house?

29. Who will do what chore and how much responsibility will each person have?

30. Do you believe in traditional or non-traditional gender roles?

31. What do we do to be there for each other when we have to hectic schedule or are under extreme or debilitating stress?

Premarital Counseling Questions, Day 8:

Life Aspirations and Expectations

32. Where do you see us in 5, 10, 20 years?

33. What does a successful marriage mean to you?

34. What is happiness to you?

Premarital Counseling Questions, Day 9:

Health and Lifestyle

35. Do you have any physical or emotional health related concerns I should know about?

36. How are we to care for each other when one of us is ill?

37. Do you have any (lifestyle) habits (like diet, exercise, sleep) that are important to you?

38. What are your thoughts on alcohol, drugs, or smoking?

Premarital Counseling Questions, Day 10:

Trust and Prior Relationships

39. What is trust for you in a relationship?

40. How do you feel about discussing past relationships?

41. Which limits need to be in place to retain trust?

42. Are you 100% over previous relationships?

Before they do, they should understand that premarital counseling is not about finding perfect partners; it’s about preparing for partnership. Through openly discussing these questions, couples can establish a more solid foundation for the journey ahead. Ready to take the next step? Maybe schedule an appointment with a marriage prep counselor to explore what really matters.